#hypergamy ask

[prettieinpink]

Urgent ask, how be a baddie as a extremely under confident person

BECOMING YOUR BEST SELF WITH LOW CONFIDENCE

i have no idea what ur definition of a 'baddie' is, so this post may have not been what you've been looking for, but I tried my best

A lot of us struggle with confidence, and it can be the main factor that holds us back from growing to be our best selves. So, I’ve created a guide on improving ourselves even with low confidence.

UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS NOT UNREPLENISHABLE. Confidence is like a cup of water, tea, coffee, hot cocoa, or whatever your favourite beverage is, it can always be refilled. While you don’t have to ‘fake till you make it’, remember that you do not live with a restricted amount of confidence.

ACCEPT IT. Whatever way you have to, crying, journalling, venting, you have to accept that you are a person who struggles with low confidence. However, instead of identifying yourself as that, identify yourself as learning to self-love.

E.g. ‘I’m so insecure’ → ‘I am still learning to love myself.’ ‘Why can’t I be like them?’ -> ‘I will learn that I do not have to be someone else.’

CONSIDER NEUTRALITY. You don’t have to live on this odd scale of loving yourself or hating yourself all the time, and letting it define you. Instead of what it looks like, what it can look like, what it can do, see it as a special vessel that homes your soul.

For example, my body can digest the food that nourishes my soul, my hands can write text messages to my loved ones which reassure my soul that they know they are loved etc. Seeing it in this perspective grows a deeper meaning and appreciation for your body.

I like to see my body, traits, and life as a gift from God. Me insulting these things, is an insult to him.

INDULGE IN YOUR STRENGTHS. When we have low confidence, it becomes almost second nature to focus on our weaknesses. Instead, try to actively focus on your strengths. If you don’t know what your strengths are at the moment, just focus on things that make you happy.

It would be beneficial to add one thing that you know you’re good at on your list of what to do. Something that you’re assured you’ll like doing and the outcome.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Eat a well-balanced diet, make an effort to achieve good quality sleep, exercise when you can, reach out to your loved ones daily and incorporate things that make you happy.

Just these simple things can improve your quality of life by far, however, our intentions to do these things may be impacted by our low confidence, and therefore we are unmotivated to do these things.

If that is the case, take little steps in doing each thing and remind yourself that intentional self-neglect is a form of self-harm and destruction.

[frangipani-wanderlust]

You think hypergamy (i recently learned what this term meant) is antithetical to genuine love? Have you ever heard of the concept of "dating up"? Isn't that basically the same thing? My mother taught me that a woman should marry a man who hits at least 2/3 boxes, taller, smarter, and richer. And that even though that may be a materialistic adage, it points to that a woman can only have a good relationship with a man she admires. I'd like to hear you unpack your statement a bit more I guess

Yes, it is antithetical. Is it impossible to admire a man who is short, or makes less money than you do? Of course not. And we know that he doesn't have to be smarter, or else the himbo craze would not be happening. Hypergamy, if it were a thing, is antithetical to love because it never commits. It's always looking for the next best thing, the greener grass on the other side of the fence.

Obviously you want to have a relationship with someone you admire. But that's not the same as hypergamy. "Hypergamy" never admires anyone. It just takes people and makes them rungs on a ladder to be climbed over. And the ladder has no "top." Real love, when you admire someone, commits to them, focuses on them. They are the goal. You don't always look for a way to swap up because, when you love someone, they become the pursuit. Even when you already have them in your life. Especially when you already have them in your life.

[lilly-onthevalley]

Would you recommend a gap year?

Yes. I took one myself. My friends took one too. Some for work, some for travel, some to figure stuff out.

I like to think that straight after graduation, your mindset is a bit warped, especially if you come from a big school that provided you with many benefits.

I recommend taking some time off before entering big society. Work out, figure out taxes, come up with a few looks that suit you, stock up some dresses and heels/platforms, find the ideal amount of alcohol you can consume while remaining focused, learn your limits, learn geography, art and food science, focus on maintaining yourself in the absence of enforced routine.

This sounds insane but I have friends who stopped school for a bit and had developed yellow skin from a vitamin D deficiency. They just didn't go outside and didn't carefully select food for nutritional benefit. The school took care of their diet and daily routine. Without that, they crashed HARD. Imagine doing that alone in a foreign country.

That's an extreme example, but to sum it up, I always recommend a gap year especially if you are someone hypergamous, levelling up and wanting to procure a specific type of lifestyle, it requires time and planning, but do what suits your situation best.

[brownsugar-dreams]

Hi brown sugar! I’m a sugar baby in California in nursing school and I feel like as sugar babies we don’t talk about our jobs or careers while sugaring. Could you shed some light the jobs you had during med school. My goal rn is to find a sugar daddy that will help me get a position in a hospital or a start up

Hey, thanks for your ask! It inspired me to create this post.

I never actually worked during med school. Besides stipends from research papers/projects, most of my income came from my small business, sugar dating, and camming. If you’re looking for non-SW related ways to make money, getting into research is one way. The stipends I’ve gotten have ranged from $500-$5k depending on the type of research and length of research. I found a great PI who understood the struggles of student life and did what she could to get paid research opportunities for me. I’d suggest reaching out to PI’s who are doing research in topics you’re interested in. Additionally there are a lot of scholarship/grants available that most ppl either don’t know about or don’t feel like applying to. I just applied to as many as I could and received a lot of money that way.

If you’re talking about SW jobs, I mostly used dating apps and Seeking. Occasionally freestyling worked too when I had the time/energy to do it. The only thing is it can be slow during certain periods so it wasn’t always a steady way for income. I started supplementing sugar dating with online only sugaring. Using cam sites (no face to protect identity) I’d find clients who were looking for a girlfriend experience. This has been the most stable/steady form of income so far.

I think for your goal, freestyling would be a good avenue for you to meet someone with enough influence to help you. Try going to networking events, charity galas, and medical conferences. It’ll be a great way for you to network and meet ppl in the field of healthcare. I suggest making business cards (can order for cheap on Canva or similar sites) with your name/phone number/position (nursing student) and handing them out at the events. Make sure to collect some business cards as well! Keep in touch after the event and decide if they’ll be useful in any way.

[daphnedauphinoise]

which cream blushes would you recommend? budget and high end options please!

In order of price low-high

Revolution Super Dewy Liquid Blush - £5 ⭐ELF Putty Blush - £6 ⭐Glossier Cloud Paint - £17⭐Saie Dewy Liquid - £20 ⭐Rare Beauty Melting Blush - £21 ⭐Vieve Sunset Blush Balm- £21 ⭐ Charlotte Tillbury Beauty Blush Wand - £30 ⭐Tata Harper Cream Blush - £38 ⭐Chantecille Cheek Gelée - £43

Daphne xox

[luxuryandlilacs]

Why would a guy continually be so wishy washy say he misses me wants me to plan to go see him so tell him I have to get time off of work to be able to since he can’t do weekends…so I’ve gotten time off of work continually for him and he has done it multiple times saying “it’s been way too long, I’m bored of this, I’m not waiting” expect me to go the next day he asks…when I can’t I work. I just don’t understand him…I just feel really hurt. He’s also continually blocking and unblocking me..or blocking me on one thing but not another…then yesterday we had a long back and forth on how upset I was and confused he kept saying he’s done over it so then I said to him “You’re the one that’s kept changing your mind every time…I’ve been trying to come and then you do this You just make me upset….because every time im coming you’re the one that keeps extending it and telling me not to. You were just saying you missed me….and then I said “This is the last thing I’ll say. You don’t need to respond…you’re just hurtful and i don’t understand you and why you do this to me after I’ve continually gotten time off to come.” He likes the message..then today’s been stalking my page viewing all my stories…I don’t understand him or why he is being this way?

Block him on everything. Your future husband wouldn’t dare have this behavior. You need to be disgusted by this behavior. Ew!

[dont-telljasmine]

Today and every day…

Be completely delusional. Yes, they are staring at you because you’re the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen when you walked into the room. You DO have THE fattest of asses, and he left you because he’s been off his meds and doesn’t know his left from right.

Believe it and be blessed 🫶🏾

[sk-lumen]

Do you miss old hypergamy blogs?

Hi anon!

I'm not sure what you mean by old hypergamy. I have a select list of blogs I like reading because I resonate with their content and quality, and they're still posting (including hypergamy blogs).

Certainly with time I've seen a lot of evolution in different directions, including new or existing movements intermingling such as the tradwife aesthetic, girlboss, etc. I think there's something valuable in each moment, if you use critical thinking and only apply to your life what does resonate with you (and discard what's problematic).

I might write an article/essay on these topics one day as I think especially the tradwife/girlboss dichotomy is very interesting.

-L

[swabian-princess]

There’s this guy in my life that for some reason I let him continually hurt me. I have expressed to him many times how he has hurt me, how I do not like the way he treats me and yet he continues to do so and blame me for how things are...he does not take accountability and I always end up apologizing. I’m a very emotional person and it really hurts me. He also is upset with me that I am keeping my options open and have a dating app. It doesn’t make any sense to me why he cares when he knows I am not happy with how things are with him. I said “so how do you think we can make things better?” And he goes “you not having a dating app”. I know I don’t deserve this from him and that is why I am keeping my options open, I just wonder why it is he cares....I have a hard time letting go of it with him even though I know it’s not good (I’m not sure why when I recognize I deserve better and crying a lot from him)...any thoughts?

Hey girlie,

oh my...that sounds tough. I'm not gonna lie and coddle you - you need to break this hell of a situationship up asap!

I know, that's easier said than done - especially if feelings are involved. But be honest with yourself: what are you getting out of this situationship? Right - nothing but heartache, headache and doubts about yourself. You don't need him. You never needed him to begin with.

Please, just block him on everything. You don't want him to get a hold of you ever again. Don't give him an explanation, because you surely don't owe him one. Just block him. Delete pictures, saved messages and everything that could remind you of him. Use this situation to do a phone detox and only use your phone if you really really need it, that ensures that you won't spend ages waiting for a message from him.

I also would delete the dating app profile. You're not in the right headspace for any romantic relationship right now. It's okay to grieve the loss of him, even tho you're only grieving an idea. Work on yourself and install the dating app again when you feel better about yourself!

Lot's of love!

Selene

[richarlotte]

hypergamy opinion?

I don’t think it particularly wise to encourage any girl who’s in her early twenties to chase after “millionaires” or “billionaires” when HENRYs are right there and easily accessible if you’re willing to work on yourself. The average salary in the USA is less than $75,000 per year; I know men who are 27 and making $375,000 yearly. They’re nowhere close to millionaires, but that’s still incredibly good money. The enemy of good is better; you do not need to be dating or married to someone making multimillions to be satisfied with life. 

I have a best friend; she’s 21, she’s dating a man who makes around $450k yearly, and she met him 2 years ago when he was at $200k. He’s age-appropriate, intelligent, and funny, and they get along well. He makes enough to take 4 major vacations with her per year; he treats her very well; he encourages her to pursue her passions instead of a traditional 9-5, and they live together in happiness. She doesn’t come from any sort of amazing background, but she’s a good person; she has a good personality and was willing to really work on herself, and she met him because she made a point of cultivating quality relationships ajd friendships and doing more with her free time.

Dating HENRYs means having more options; there’s more variety and more freedom, and you’ll have more luck finding someone who fits into your life. My boyfriend comes from quite a bit of money; he has a trust fund and investments, and he will be making more once he’s out of college. We fit seamlessly into each other’s lives; I’m a few days older than him, we're very compatible, and we met because of an event. Proximity is what brought us together, and he’d move the world for me without me having to ask. He’s appropriate for me to be with, and I love him very much. Find a HENRY and focus on building your relationship with him instead of struggling for more.

[brownsugar-dreams]

do u have tips for actually finding men to enter relationships like this with??? trying to break into sugar dating but dont really know where to start

Hope this helps 🎯✨

[transfemme-shelterdog]

I think being a TMRA is great because. I like trans men having rights

Trans men's rights activist

What is bad about that

TMRA is such a loaded term. Of all the people to send this ask to, you chose the right person. You see, I was actually a self-described MRA in high-school, up until my second year of college, when I left the community. So, I've been on both sides of the issue, and have seen the stuff that MRAs actually talk about.

MRA is often associated with the "Red Pill Movement", which has a lot of baggage of misogyny and resentment towards women. Some of their concerns are valid (lack of men's shelters, lack of support for abused men, lack of support for men who are raped, infant circumcision) other's not so much (hypergamy, women belong in the kitchen, gynocentrism, etc).

Calling people TMRAs is an attempt at linking talk about trans men/masc people's rights to the understandably negative baggage of the misogyny filled MRA movement. Basically it's claiming that if you talk about how trans men/mascs are correctively raped, shunned for transitioning, have their gender demonized, etc, that you're just a misogynist who blames women for everything wrong in the world, similar to how cis MRAs act.

I do agree, we should totally argue for trans men's rights, my stance on this is crystal clear. I however am hesitant on the term TMRA because of how close it is to the actual MRA movement which is toxic as fuck.

Totally down for a different term, but that's not my place, as a trans woman to police words that trans men want to use to describe themselves. If you want to call yourself a TMRA, I fully support you.

[herdemimonde]

some things i'm learning as i become more of a kept woman...

be prepared for the possibility that you may have to leave everyone where they are. your girlfriends/sisters/etc may not be into hypergamy. your family may not care to level up their lives. be prepared that you may have to walk this path alone until you find like minded people along your journey.

people may talk about you. i'm not talking about jealous men that are mad they can't afford you. i'm talking about those you care about. best friends. close family members. you may hear phrases like "you're so high maintenance", "you want too much" or the questions "why can't you settle? why do you have to be like that?" "why do you want so much?" who do you think you are?" you may hear backhanded jokes or snide comments as well. don't get mad. but take note. notice who's saying it. there's jealously behind their words. move silently.

watch out for people that start asking for things they have no business asking you for. they feel entitled to what you have.

the cost for your beauty maintenance will always get more and more expensive lol.

if you're like me and you come from an impoverished background you may have to get use to spending money. at least this was the case for me. i know that sounds odd but when you've become accustomed to going without or having to buy the cheapest option, suddenly not having to look at price tags may feel foreign at first. work on cultivating an abundance mindset, speak wealth to yourself and heal your scarcity wound. and be gentle with yourself during this process. this mindset was most likely developed during childhood.

you do not have to be a rhodes scholar. you don't have to know everything about everything and get embarrassed when you don't. it can actually work in your favor to not know but show an eagerness or a curiosity about it. men love to teach and share their knowledge. however you should be up to date on current events and what's happening in the world.

you do not have to be a 10. looks are important but it's more important to look put together. exercising and eating healthy is of the upmost importance.

outside of the bedroom, spewing profanities, acting vulgar and dressing *too* provocative will probably not go over well.

be interested in his work other than how much he earns.

learn about him. his likes, his dislikes, and even more so learn what stresses him out and what makes him happy, that will come in handy. 😉

[dont-telljasmine]

So I need some input/advise if you wouldn’t mind please 💕. So basically I was talking to this guy for over a year long distance, he lives in Miami and we’ve met 4 times in person. We would talk consistently, he told me how he wanted a relationship, for me to move there, have kids with him and all that but every time I’ve gone there something happened (him leaving me unexpectedly, him not being able to see me for very long telling me it was because he was taking care of his grandpa who he lived with) anyway but he kept in contact all this time and was just about to go see him again in 2 days and I received a call from a Miami phone number which I thought was weird so answered it and it was a girl and she goes “hi I received a phone call from this phone number” and I was like “no I didn’t call you” then she hangs up abruptly...then she calls back like 2 minutes later and then says she actually saw my phone number on her boyfriends phone and wondered how I knew her boyfriend...we continued to talk she at first told me they were together for a year and then she changed it for some reason to 3 years over text after I sent her the proof and everything of our texts and she was nice and respectful and not mad at me at all and after sending her all the texts to confirm she told me they broke up...he blocked me after I called him as he was on the way back to see her and I was like “you have a girlfriend” and then he goes “you had a dating app and hangs up and blocks me”...I did have a dating app and he went through my phone last time I was there and saw it and was upset and said “it broke him”. We weren’t ever official and like I said every time I went there he would leave me. Anyway, I have tried to call him from a private number many times because he blocked me and he’s been so hurtful. He unblocked me and said to “stop texting him, to move on, how he’s blocking me, how it’s clearly over, to stop being obsessed and to find someone else” why is he saying this when I was supposed to go there 2 days after the girlfriend called me?? Like they broke up and now he’s saying he doesn’t want to see me? I don’t understand...he’s also done this a lot with me where he’ll say bye or it’s done, block me and always come back. So our relationship has been challenging to say the least. But doesn’t it mean something that he’s kept in contact with me this long? At first, I thought he just wanted to hookup but he kept on talking to me and wanting me to go see him...for over a year. Why would he do this when he’s had a girlfriend of 3 years and she said they basically were living together. I don’t understand. Any input?

I want to start by saying that I’m so sorry you’ve had to experience this. It’s not easy finding out that someone that you care for and trust has been sharing their energy with someone else.

It’s a hard pill to swallow, but when the red flags are there, they’re there. The worst thing you can do is ignore them. Seeing a guy 4 times out of a year is not Princess treatment. A man who’s invested in the connection craves your time and attention. YOU ARE THE PRIZE.

When a man tells you things like “stop texting” “just move on” it’s SO hard, but DO IT. Not because he told you to do it, but because any man that is YOUR man would never tell you to do that. Talking to you for a year, but she was able to get his phone and find your number? She’s a lot closer and deeper with him than you think. She’s use to this. She should only be able to come to you as a woman ONCE before you let her have him. Let her deal with him lying, cheating, being sneaky, finding texts, and DMs.

Move on babes!

For me personally… I don’t block. I let the embarrassment of you working up the courage to send me a text or call me. Just for me not to answer or respond. I LOVE the feeling.

Find you a man who wants to see you multiple times a week, who takes you on dates, sends you money for no reason. Just cause he likes you. Who’s showing you off, bringing you around his friends (this is very important. If you aren’t meeting people in his circle… you’re not that important and this is not progressing) get to know him in person. NEVER let a man put you in a text/phone-lationship. Find your Empress Energy as I like to call it. Research what it means to be in your goodness or empress of energy. You’ll never let a unsure man waste your time again.

I hope this helps

-xoxo

[blackpilljesus]

hello, ive been lurking in radblr (and agreeing with almost everything i see) and i feel like i have a pretty good understanding of the terminology, there is just one thing: i am still confused about the "pilled" thing like redpill blackpill ect..

Redpill isn't part of rad or other spaces near it terminology. That's moid bs believing in hypergamy & thinking maIes are oppressed.

As far as I know there are 4 pills in fem (female not feminist) spaces.

💊 Black pill - Explained here

💊 White pill - Came about as a twitter thing against blackpillers when there were more active blackpillers on the site. These women are & believe in the opposite of the blackpill. Whitepillers believe maIe violence is entirely due to socialisation so maIes can be reformed. Many whitepillers either want to or support being with maIes because LuRvE aNd CoMpAnIonShIp so yeah they oppose concepts like separatism. Main aspect of the whitepill is having hope that female liberation will happen some day.

💊 Gray pill - In the middle of the blackpill & whitepill. Many of these women want to have hope but at the same time cant deny the evidence they see that suggests otherwise. Not hopeful enough for the whitepillers but not pessimistic or doomerism enough for the blackpillers either.

💊 Pink pill - Not entirely too sure as I didnt hang around these spaces but they're femcels. They focus on concepts like lookism, how they're not attractive enough in society. Many pinkpillers aim to looksmaxx in an attempt to gain higher status in society but some are just hateful of hetero politics with regards to the way maIes choose women. Many of them were also involved in FDS circles as well.

With mass social media account wipeouts many blackpillers, graypillers, and pinkpillers spaces were taken out so there's just specs here and there. Some tried setting their own websites but they eventually went down with no explanation as to why. I miss these spaces even if I didn't agree. As I was answering this I thought to myself how it's wild that so much of this history of womens thoughts is gone and I'm honestly glad this question was asked what a trip. 2020-2022 was many female spaces peak times.

There's very little memory of these spaces online even but with the way people are I'm sure they'll kick up again at some point as the wheel always gets reinvented.

[thesirencult]

ICY DIARIES 💍💎

Episode 1 :

THE GIRL THAT NEVER GETS PICKED

Apart from being an evolvement coach by utilising astrology and tarot, I'm also an avid #hypergamy/levelup reader.

I always had strong opinions about how to advance in life and how to make the most of your existence.

I decided to start this series where I will be serving 🍽️ some good ol' soul food and knocking some sense into YOU.

Yup you, the one who always waits for that text back, who doesn't go after her dreams, who has HUGE potential but won't take that mothereffing leap of faith towards your higher self.

I'm tired of getting messages from ladies who beg for a tarot reading or a synastry reading over their scum bag ex who another tarot reader claimed it's their TwIn FlAmE.

ON OUR 1ST EPISODE WE START WITH THIS 💎

[I specifically picked the video above just so you can see the original scum bag's reaction and to be frank ladies ... This is how most men think. NOT ALL MEN. (I love men ❤️)]

"I'm not a pick me girl, I just have never been picked!"

I see you, I feel you my fellow certified lover girls.

I used to be one of you a few years ago. No one asked me on dates, no one flirted with me, no one approaches me on parties. THANKFULLY.

WHY THE HELL DID YOU WANT TO BE APPROACHED BY 17 YEAR OLD JEREMY WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO COOK AN EGG 🍳 ?

Don't let these boys lie to you. They would get it on with a blow dryer if they could. You see them approaching women who are not that "attractive" just to get laid. So, if you don't get approached and you are under 30 take it as a compliment.

Why ?

Because you belong to the TOP OF THE SHELF CATEGORY and boys can't reach that high. That's only for grown MEN.

All jokes aside, your self esteem has definitely taken a hit by not being approached. It can feel very lonely and ostracizing.

What I want you to do is to flip that feeling. What boys like the ones in the video mean when they say "Don't go out with your attractive friends because you won't get approached." is : Don't go out with your friends who are made specifically for the club, who put out and are ready to spend the night with any guy who would approach them (thus looking more approachable).

Maybe you're not a "club type" beauty. Maybe you are a "slow Sunday morning, having coffee at the balcony" pretty or a "spiritual sensual bombshell" type of beauty or an "earth shattering, ocean deep, scorching hot fire, wuthering" beautiful.

My point is, you are winning at the end. Our sensuality is sacred. We are portals to a different part of the universe that allows us to bring life into the world. Don't let anyone shame you, not even your own self.

Sometimes not being approached is a blessing in disguise.